Guest Writer: Lyn (9/18/04)

Greetings all. Just an entry from Eric's wifey today to let you know that he is hanging in there. There's nothing amiss... he just doesn't feel up to sitting and writing.

Treatments are finally over this week... he made it through. The cumulative effect of the chemo has been awful this time around. He is exhausted and has not been able to eat much of anything other than toast, broth and ice since midweek. The two days following the end of chemo (that would be today and tomorrow) are usually the worst, so by Monday or Tuesday Eric should be feeling a little better. So for now, it's sleep, sleep and more sleep. (Oh, and Saturday college football games... go Penn State!)

Good news is that the latest CBC (complete blood count) showed that Eric's hemoglobin is finally on the upswing. Good news because if it didn't go up they were going to do a transfusion. Yuk. The upswing is also good news because this will help Eric to feel less tired. (He is currently living with about half the hemoglobin any of us have.)

Started Neupogen injections for his white blood cells this morning... I learned to give these at home so he doesn't have to go to the ER or doc's office to get them. We usually do this for a 5-day period every 2 or 3 weeks. His white counts have been excellent thanks to this drug so his immune functions have been uncompromised.

Goal for the weekend: Pour as much liquid into him as possible so he doesn't get dehydrated... this is our biggest challenge every cycle. (You would/could never imagine it, I bet. But Eric is actually stubborn about it... it must be awful to feel sick from just drinking something as ordinary as water.)

So there's the update... Eric'll be back to writing in no time!

September 16, 2004

Day 4 for 5. Almost done.

I feel so tired I can't belive it. I'm a zombie trapped in my body.

I want this over NOW.

September 15, 2004 Day 3 of 5

All I can say is that I'm very tired. The metallic taste in my mouth is stronger and is making eating more difficult. Nothing sounds too delicious when you know that it'll taste like metal.

I slept most of the day in my chemo chair today. Only really got up when I got the Lassix shot to make me pee, and pee, and pee.

I can feel myself drifting away into the sickness of chemo. It's a disgusting downward slope. I've learned to hate this feeling just as much as any other unpleasant thing. I can feel it taking over me.

I have to keep reminding myself that after Friday each day will get better, that I won't remember pain, and I will be myself again.

I dread that this round of chemo will bring side effects that I haven't seen before. Will more hair fall out? Will my eyesight and hearing feel permanent effects? What if my strength doesn't return to normal? I just have to hold out hope an try to mentally fight this.

It's when I feel this weak that I'm most scared for my future. I don't know if I'll have the strength to fight what'll come down the path next. I won't give up, but I don't want to be overwhelmed.

Oh I don't know. I'm tired. I owe a lot of kind people e-mail responses, but I can't get to them today. I'm sorry.

September 14, 2004, Tuesday

So, how do you like the new look? Thanks goes to my dear friend, Jenn, for finding this blog tool on the Google site. I think it works very well.

In case you haven't noticed, you have the opportunity to respond to an entry right on the site. You may also respond to other people's comments too. Pretty cool stuff.

Anyway, Day 2 of 5 is over. Not much exciting to report. I am a little tired from the treatment, but nothing severe. The metallic taste from the Cisplatin is starting to build. Probably by tomorrow I won't be able to drink water because of the taste. I've got Gatorade, Orangina, Iced Tea and Lemonade to help me there.

Any other suggestions besides green tea and soda would be helpful.

We're going off to our Support Group meetings at the Wellness Community tonight. I do believe they are helping us, but exactly how is still undefined. I'll post my ponderings as they come to me.

Cheers

Monday, September 13, 2004

Day 1 of 5

I got back from chemo about 3:45. We started late because of a long wait at the doctor's office.

This is my day:
9:00 - Doctor appt to check my blood and overall health before they approve the start of chemo. Waited until 10:00 before we were seen, and got out of there with the OK at 10:30.

They accessed my port to get blood and prepare me for chemo. Before my 2nd treatment I had a port surgically inserted under the skin on my right shoulder. The veins in my arms would have been destroyed by the chemo drugs, so a more direct connection to my arteries was needed. Yeah, it freaks me the hell out, but I try not to think about it. It does make things easier.

10:45 - Check into Chemo Center to begin treatment. There were already about 12 people there getting their juice. I took my usual seat away from their chatter.

11:00 - Hooked up wit 1 liter of fluids to get things flowing.
One shot of a drug that helps fight nausea for 5 days. (Aloxi)
Hooked up with Decadron, a steroid that helps the chemo fight the cancer.

11:20 - Decadron done, hooked up with another anti-nausea drug. (Atavan)
Some people get these drugs and they still get sick.

11:40 - IV drug done
Hooked up with Mannitol, a diuretic. We can't let any of the chemo drugs sit in the system too long.

12:30 - All the preliminary drugs and fluids are done. It's show time!
Hooked up with first bag of Cisplatin. It's clear and innocent looking. I can't feel any of this entering my bloodstream.

1:15 - Cisplatin is done.
I get an injection of Lassix. A wonderful diuretic that makes me run to the bathroom at least four time in the next half hour. Gotta flush it out.

1:45 - Chemo Drug number 2 - VP 16 (etoposide). I'm hooked up.
Support fluids are also added so I'm not getting pure bug juice.

3:20 - I'm done. Disconnected and going home.

I'm tired, and a little dizzy. My hands are a little jittery. But I'm feeling ok. Still have an appetite.

I'm going to go lay down.

Monday, September 13, 2004

this is only a test

Entry September 13, 2004, Monday

Day ONE of FIVE

Welcome to the new format of "Eric's Blog." There are a lot of new tools and features, AKA frills, available to me and YOU. Hopefully this will improve the blog experience for all of us. If not, I'll go back to the old way.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little dizzy and tired from today's treatment. I went in there already a little tired, so I'm not surprised that I came home more tired. Not a big deal. My strength and stamina haven't yet been effected.

Maybe we'll take a field trip to Whole Foods market tonight. I'm very curious to get back in there armed with all my new knowledge. I'll be reading labels left and right.

Lyn's Mother has come down to stay with us for the week, helping us out while I get my treatment. I feel bad that she has to watch our crappy TV with 10 channels. We don't have cable TV, and have no real desire for it. It's always an adjustment for people that are used to 150 channels, clear reception and endless entertainment. Not gonna get that here.

The Main Point: Day one is over, and all is well.

Entry September 13, 2004, Monday

Day 1 of 5

I got back from chemo about 3:45. We started late because of a long wait at the doctor's office.

This is my day: 9:00 - Doctor appt to check my blood and overall health before they approve the start of chemo. Waited until 10:00 before we were seen, and got out of there with the OK at 10:30. They accessed my port to get blood and prepare me for chemo. Before my 2nd treatment I had a port surgically inserted under the skin on my right shoulder. The veins in my arms would have been destroyed by the chemo drugs, so a more direct connection to my arteries was needed. Yeah, it freaks me the hell out, but I try not to think about it. It does make things easier.

10:45 - Check into Chemo Center to begin treatment. There were already about 12 people there getting their juice. I took my usual seat away from their chatter.

11:00 - Hooked up wit 1 liter of fluids to get things flowing.
One shot of a drug that helps fight nausea for 5 days.
Hooked up with Decodron, a steroid that helps the chemo fight the cancer.

11:20 - Decodron done, hooked up with another anti-nausea drug.
Some people get these drugs and they still get sick.

11:40 - IV drug done
Hooked up with Manataw, a diuretic. We can't let any of the chemo drugs sit in the system too long.

12:30 - All the preliminary drugs and fluids are done. It's show time!
Hooked up with first bag of Cisplatin. It's clear and innocent looking. I can't feel any of this entering my bloodstream.

1:15 - Cisplatin if done.
I get an injection of Lassix. A wonderful diuretic that makes me run to the bathroom at least four time in the next half hour. Gotta flush it out.

1:45 - Chemo Drug number 2 - VP 16. I'm hooked up.
Support fluids are also added so I'm not getting pure bug juice.

3:20 - I'm done. Disconnected and going home.

I'm tired, and a little dizzy. My hands are a little jittery. But I'm feeling ok. Still have an appetite.

I'm going to go lay down.

Entry September 12, 2004, Sunday

Today's entry is better late than never. Sorry to worry anyone that was checking throughout the day and was wondering if something was wrong. Nothing wrong, just spent my fourth consecutive day watching football. I think I might skip Monday night football to just detox.

Anyway, Tomorrow morning I report at 9:00 for day 1 of 5 of the 4th chemo cycle. I'm thrilled that this is my last chemo cycle. I can see the finish line, but I still have to get through the next week and a half.

Chemo lasts for about 6 hours, more or less, so I won't get home until late afternoon. I hope to be in pretty good shape. We'll see.

I was considering keeping a log of everything that happens to me tomorrow to give y'all an idea what a day of chemo is like. I know, it's like a dream come true.

Also, I may be switching to a different BLOG format soon. If you come back to this page and it's different, don't be alarmed.