Friday, 10/29 -- It was a long, tiring day.

The whole foods cooking class was a great time. I'm happy that I'm taking this course.

I learned a good bit of useful info about ingredients that I've never used before. Daikon, brown rice syrup, sea vegetables (a.k.a. sea weed), burdock, chanterelles and blue foot mushrooms. Interesting flavors, textures and cooking methods.

I'm enjoying this class, but it is very tiring for me.

A nice feature of the class is we get to eat what we prepare. Good stuff. Really, I'm not fibbing.

I'm going to lay down and possibly go to bed in preparation for tomorrow's class.

Thursday, 10/28 -- Mental spew.

Today we went for my CAT Scan. It was routine and uneventful.

Wait a second. It just struck me that CAT Scans have now become "routine" for me. Routine?!?!?!

Now that I think of it, so has the weekly doctor's appointments. The blood tests. Feeling like poop. Taking a pile of horse pills twice a day. Aches and pains. Lack of hair. and on and on...

It's all become routine.

I guess that's what they mean when they say that for many people cancer has become a chronic disease, something that you learn to live with and treat on a daily basis. It is not something that is happening to you, rather it is slowly becoming, in part, who you are.

It all snuck up on me. That's creepy.

I don't quite like the sound of all this. I still see myself being completely free from all this crap someday. The idea that it's become a routine fact of life is freaking me out.

I'll have to think more about this. Right now I'm typing as I'm thinking. I'd rather not do that. Don't want to sound like more of an idiot than I already do.

By the way, I'll be in a cooking class all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's a whole foods/natural foods cooking class at Drexel University being taught by Christina Perillo. She has a cooking show on PBS called Christina Cooks. She lives in the area and occasionally teaches cooking classes. I'll be there with my brother, sister and sister-in-law. I'll "dish" the details tomorrow night.

Cheers
Eric

Wednesday, 10/27 -- Hardline political stance.

I haven't previously mentioned anything about politics in this blog because, well, this blog is all about me and I'm not running for any office.

But the time has come for me to take a stand and let you know what my political stance is. My opinion will no longer be kept silent. I will now make you see things my way.

Here it goes:
On November 2nd I will vote. You should too. That's all.
(I approved this message.)

One of the main problems with election years, especially during the month of October, is all the insufferable political ads on TV. The ads are so repulsive and lowest-common-denominator that they make me sick. TV will be almost unwatchable until the 3rd.

The saddest part about this rant of mine:
I didn't watch too much TV until the past few months. This blasted disease has me house-bound and couch-bound, so I'm "forced" to watch unhealthy amounts of television. Not only do I know the Tony Danza show exists, but I've seen several episodes. I know what a Boohbah is. I play along with the Price is Right and Millionaire just about everyday, and I'm getting good. Channel 35 has some bizarre programming during the day, and I watch and love them all. Channel 48 has become some kind of born-again channel, I tune in to watch in bemused horror as crazy white men dance around after being "saved" by other crazy white men with plastic hair. To my credit I am not wrapped up in the story line of any soap opera (even though I do like All My Children).

I didn't used to be like this, except when I was a child/teenager. When I was young I watched an unhealthy amount of TV. Between 7th and 11th grades, I was a fat, lazy child. I loved to eat junk food while watching whatever was on at the time. It hardly mattered that most of the crap was dull and boring, so long as I didn't have to think too hard. Countless hours flushed down the media toilet. It's surprising that I turned out as well-adjusted and stable as I did.

Around the time I got to college, I woke up to life and turned TV off. I found that there were other things to do, lots of other things. Also lots of people to meet and do things with. And girls. I realized that I wasn't meeting any girls in front of my TV (and the girls IN the TV weren't talking to me either). I turned off the TV and turned on my natural curiosity. I let my curiosity run wild and drag me into places that TV fears to tread. It's been a wild ride. I've never been bored since.

Don't get me wrong, there have been many TV shows that I continued to follow. Shows that have enriched my life, made me smarter, made me laugh and have opened my eyes and mind. Shows like the Simpsons, M*A*S*H, Antiques Roadshow, Frontline and more. Just about any science-related show on PBS would always catch my full attention (NOVA, Nature, National Geographic, Secrets of the Dead, Scientific American Frontiers, etc). David Attenborough is a personal hero.

So I wasn't an anti-TV snob. At least not in my opinion.

Now I'm a fully indoctrinated member of the American Society of Couch Potatoes. I'm not complaining, rather, I'm kinda enjoying it. There are times when I'm too weak/sick to do anything else. TV is distracting me from the boredom and loneliness of being sick. It makes my days go faster. It is my escape from reality and a chance to turn my brain off. I thank TV for that gift.

We don't have cable. Very few of us potatoes can survive without cable or satellite TV. I fear that if I had more than 10 channels to choose from, no one would ever see me away from the TV again.

Except during an election year.

Tuesday, 10/26 -- Weekly doctor's appointment today.

Things went well at the doctor's office. (When I say doctor, I mean oncologist. I haven't seen my primary doctor in his office since December.) My blood counts are good. They're not normal, but very good. It goes to explain why I'm feeling as good as I do right now.

Green light for Thursday's CAT Scan. The results of the scan will determine what my next course of treatment will be. Same bug juice, different bug juice, different treatment methods... it's all up in the air.

The only thing that is mostly certain is that the next round of chemo starts on Tuesday. Tuesday the 2nd.
It may go for 4 days.
It may be for one day.
I could wind up sick as a dog by next weekend.
I could be fighting new side effects.
I could be fine and dandy, like sour candy.

We'll find out Friday what the deal is.

By the way, my weight is hovering around 180 pounds. I need to eat more high-calorie foods and cut out all this healthy stuff.

Monday, 10/25 -- A pint of Guinness with a side salad.

Feeling groovy.

These past couple of days have been really good for me. I've been feeling surprisingly strong and alert, more like myself. I don't understand how I can feel this good, this fast, when this past treatment hit me so hard.

One theory: I've been following the whole foods/natural foods diet more and more. While there are still some lingering "bad" foodstuffs that I'm still eating, the majority of my diet has been very, very good. I'm still eating some high fat items to help me gain weight to prepare me for the next round of chemo.

People talk about an increase in energy when they eat whole grains like brown rice, millet, couscous and corn along with more fresh veggies and beans. Maybe, just maybe, it is helping me with my blood counts and energy level. Who knows?

Tonight I'm going to enjoy the fermented juice of some other whole grain products: barley and hops. I'm looking forward to it. It's a funny thing when your perspective changes so that you see the food in a pub to be more dangerous than the alcoholic drinks they serve.

Cheers

Sunday, 10/24 -- Kicking the poetry ballistics.

Today is a day for gardening haiku. We entered some of these in a haiku contest.:

Earthworms eat the dirt
Their castings enrich my soil
All this without eyes.

Bird feeders destroyed
Sharp teeth flashing like white blades
Rage of the Squirrel.

Flowers stand proudly
Brilliant jewelry shining
Turn to face the Sun.

The cursed zucchini
Fruit piles high in the summer
Friends won't return calls.

Soothing springtime scents
On a warm April morning
Like freshly turned soil.

A beautiful frond
Spontaneously sprouted
Rats! Poison ivy!

Early morning gift
Dew drops sparkle on each leaf
And on spider Webs.

Write your own and post it in the comment section.

Why? Why the hell not?