Friday, 11/12 - Calcium = Bad

Results from today's doctor's appointment were pretty good. He basically wanted to check my general condition and make sure the side effects weren't beating me down.

My side effects had diminished since feeling like poop on Monday and Tuesday, although they are still annoying. I'm more tired than I thought I would be on this new treatment cycle. My skin feels gritty. Digestive woes are a concern. And more.

My blood counts are within normal and acceptable levels. Also my calcium levels are "normal", which is fantastic. Since I have cancer in my bones, an elevated calcium level would indicate active tumors and other bad stuff. Normal calcium can only mean good things. One can hope.

Thursday, 11/11 -- Bringing home the bacon. All Natural, Organic, Free Range, Tofu Bacon. (I'm sure that's awful.)

My adventure downtown was successful.

I went to work, but I didn't do any work. I also prevented a good half of the office from doing any work.

It was a great experience from beginning to end. It was great to see everybody. It was odd to sit at my desk and see that almost nothing was touched since my last day there. My notes, my toys, my ads... all where I left them.

The drive into the city was long because of silly traffic, but I felt fine. Once I parked and hit the sidewalk, old habits took over and I was walking fast and furious from block to block. I had to stop myself, slow down, take it easy. There's something about being downtown that makes you want to hustle. It might be a herding instinct.

Driving home was also very smooth. No problems. I was very tired when I got home. The couch was a welcomed sight.

I'm going to attempt Day Two of getting back to work. I'm obviously not going to throw myself into it 100%. I can't. I have to take it slow. A few hours here, a few hours there. Baby steps to the car. Baby steps to the desk. Baby steps to a routine.

Weight a minute!
I have lost 30 pounds since July in addition to the 20 pounds from last year. I really carried my weight well, evenly over my entire body. After losing 50 pounds, I only went down one pants size, from a 38 to a 36. That's pretty wild.

I carry most of my weight in my big, fat head. It's 90% gristle.

Wednesday, 11/10 -- Will Eric see his shadow today?

Today is a day for adventure. Let's see how I do.

At the time of the posting of this entry, my parents were on their way down to the house with an extra car. They are lending me their Mazda so I can venture out of the house for short errands and possibly... hold onto your seats... my return to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only a loon would be excited to return to work, right? Ich bin ein Loon.

Today I hope to drive down to Alstin and pay them a visit. It's mostly to see them in person and thank them for their unbelievable support and kindness. It's also to test myself and my limits. I know I'd be able to sit at my desk for long stretches and do meaningful work, but getting from my house to my desk, and back, is the biggest question.

In my travels I've heard too many stories of cancer patients going through hell with their employers. I'm sure you've heard the stories too: people being fired for not performing the way they used to, too many missed days, insurance being canceled behind their backs, other benefits cut, demotions and other harsh treatment. Talk about kicking someone when they are down.

Alstin has been the complete polar opposite. I won't go into all the details of how they have helped Lyn and I, but it's suffice to say that I couldn't have asked for better employment circumstances. Countless cards, flowers, fruit baskets, e-mails, phone calls... and so much more. I am anxious to see them again.

I just hope my bald head and skinny body don't shock them too much. I'm such a hideous freak! (I'm kidding, of course.)

I'll report on my adventure either tonight or tomorrow.

Cheers

Tuesday, 11/9 -- Cut the dose, man, cut the dose!

This posting is a day late due to problems with Blogger.com.

Today's doctor visit and chemo treatment went well. We spoke with the oncology group and discussed my side effects to the VP 16 and Carboplatin. They also tested my blood counts.

As expected, my blood counts are down, but not so much as to cause concern. They are continuing to test my blood chemistry for possible alternative treatments down the road. I don't know how many different tests they are doing, but they said that the results would take a while because they are examined by several different groups (oncology, pathology, hematology, vampires, etc)

They reduced the strength of the carbo and the VP because my side effects concerned them. Today I'm feeling better than yesterday, but not as well as I felt two weeks ago.

I have a follow-up appointment on Friday because the oncologist wanted to make sure my condition improved by then. He seems concerned when I don't joke around with him.

Anyway, back to the couch.

Monday, 11/8 -- Looking for a mental lighthouse.

OK, there appears to be one side effect of the VP 16 that I wasn't anticipating. I appear to be in a mental fog.

I went the weekend without making a blog entry. Same excuse as for Thursday's wiff. I just plain forgot.

It makes sense to me that if I were in the routine of making an entry everyday, it would be hard to miss a day. Apparently not.

I know it's the drug. I've been feeling various side effects all week. Nothing severe or dramatic, but annoying just the same. The two big ones are tiredness and fogginess.

We have an appointment tomorrow with the oncologist. Hopefully he'll lower the dosage and I'll come out of this fog. I don't feel like myself when my head is like this. It's important to me to feel like myself again.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but cancer sucks.