Wednesday, 11/17 -- I love my drugs. Pretty colors and easy to swallow...

The steroids seem to have me flying high, feeling like myself again. I can feel the chemo drugs in my system due to the side effects. The side effects are suppressed, marinating in the background.

Normally, taking drugs to counter the other drugs is a concept that I would find disturbing. Until all the cancer stuff started, I hated taking aspirin for a headache. I believed that taking symptom suppressing OTC medications for colds, aches, pains and other minor ailments to be counterproductive to my own body's ability to heal itself. Nothing cured a cold except two weeks of coughing, sneezing and dealing. 12 hours of good sleep cured all my minor headaches.

Things have changed. Now I have a segmented pill dispenser that keeps track of what pills I take at Breakfast, Lunch, Supper and Bedtime. If I forget and miss a med, I can feel it within a few hours. The drugs have become a part of my being. I miss them when they are gone, despite all the hardships they cause.

In my mind, vitamin C is a medication. So is an iron supplement. So is Ginseng. I put green tea in this group too. Most foods can be called medication too. It all depends on how and why you are putting it in your body. Nachos are definitely good meds. I'll take a double dose of that stuff, please.

Of all the crazy crap they've been giving me and pushing through my system, the ones that bother me the most are the radioactive dyes they inject into me for CT Scans and the like. They claim that it's not harmful, but they also tell you to drink plenty of water after the test so it "doesn't damage your kidneys." That's just great. That's just freaking great.

Oh, Xmas Tree, Oh, Xmas Tree,
How I see you standing there,
With your shiny, blinky lights,
With your dangly, pointy spikes,
Oh, Xmas Tree, Oh, Xmas Tree,
Oh how we missed you all last year...

This weekend we are putting up one of our three Christmas Trees. Last year we were not in a holiday mood due to us being unemployed and me getting over the gift of two cancer surgeries. We didn't decorate last year.

This year, we need the warm glowing, glowing warmness of our Christmas tree. It's going up on Saturday. The cats missed breaking things off the tree last year, they'll be happy to have it back too.

Something tells me that we'll both be weeping like little children once the tree is completely trimmed. I can't wait.

Tuesday, 11/16 -- Eric T Schwartzenchesna

Today's visit to the doctor's office was very interesting.

As you might have been able to tell this weekend by my lack of whimsical and expansive blog entries, I wasn't feeling well at all. From Friday through Monday I got progressively worse. Nausea, dizziness, headaches, weakness, tiredness, spotty appetite, soreness and other exciting stuff.

I assumed that I overdid it last week when I returned to work. I very well might have, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Pushing myself is how I'll grow stronger. But that side trip to the grocery store after work was not a good idea.

Anyway, back to my health story.
The doctor surmised that the pattern I've been showing these past two weeks was probably due to the steroids I get on Tuesdays with my pre-chemo meds. He said it should slowly wear off and I'd feel the side effects of the chemo more strongly by Friday. Gee, that's kinda what's been happening.

Solution:
Take more steroids throughout the week. By Christmas I should be totally buff and ready for the beach. BEEFCAKE!!!! But seriously, they aren't those kinds of steroids, and they are in low dosage amounts.

I hope to return to work again on Wednesday for a few hours. Slowly build my strength.
I have to take advantage of the good days when I have them. I can't seem to plan anything with confidence beyond one day at a time. And yes, it is frustrating.

Skwerl is buttshead.
In other news, the squirrels in our neighborhood are getting fatter. They are obese American squirrels. We discovered that they have been digging up and eating our tulip bulbs. We knew that they have been known to do that, however, they've never done it to us since we have so much birdseed and beautiful birdfeeders for them to destroy. They are jerks. We spiced the ground with cayenne pepper powder. We'll see if they like Mexican food.

Sunday, 11/14 - Day off

Today is a day of rest.

Saturday, 11/13 -- e-mail blackhole

I'm sorry for not responding to everyone's e-mails. I try to get to them as quickly as I can, but sometimes I get behind. I do read them and appreciate them. I will make a conscience effort to get back to everyone.