Saturday, 12/25 -- Merry Christmas

Lyn and I send out our sincerest, warmest wishes for a fantastic Christmas day to you and your families.

We thank you for your thoughts, prayers and continued support.
Never underestimate the power of love.

We will spend our day today with our family, enjoying all the best the holiday season can bring to life. After all, Christmas is celebration of life.

And food. Let's not forget the food. GIMME LOTS OF FOOD!

Love
Eric & Lyn

Friday, 12/24 -- Time well spent.

The plan worked. By being admitted into the hospital I was able to be seen by the neurologist, radiologist, radiation therapist and others in a very short amount of time. If I tried to schedule these appointments outside of the hospital, I wouldn't have been seen until mid January.

So, everyone did their exams, checked their charts and ran their tests.

I had a new CT Scan on my spine.
I had blood work done.
I did demonstrations of mobility and lack thereof.
I found new, and inventive ways to describe the kind of pain I was experiencing. Everything with practice can become a story.

Possible extreme outcomes included:

Surgery to correct whatever problem they discover.

Radiation therapy targeted at any new tumor that might be pressing on a nerve. 3 weeks of radiation, mind you.

Combinations of the above.

Results:

There are no apparent new tumors growing along my spine.

The tumors that were definitely there in July are not there now. (Yes, read that again.)

My bones are still weakened from the former tumors and the chemotherapy.

Lifting things like 40 pound buckets of water is going to have a severe impact on these weakened bones. Lifting a 40 pound bucket can easily cause compression fractures along the spine which in turn can pinch nerves.

Pinched nerves can be extremely painful, but in cases like mine, they can heal themselves along with the muscles and bones.

The miracle of modern medicine continue to bring me drugs to help control pain and discomfort. This keeps me comfortable while these things heal.

Conclusion:
Get the heck out of this hospital you healthy SOB!

I'm still in pain, but nothing like it was a week ago. I'm learning to move around without aggravating my condition. The drugs dull the pain and help with the swelling. I'm taking it easy this time. No more heavy lifting. I'm going to be a wimp for a long time.

Back to the other bit of news that I mentioned above. Next week we'll start to schedule more comprehensive scans to see how much of the cancerous tumors are history. I don't want to get too excited prematurely, but I can't help but hold onto the news that we continue to kick this disease's ass.

Hang THAT in your stocking by the chimney with care!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Thursday, 12/23 -- Couch Potato Redux

I'm home.

I'm home and in less pain.

I'll fill in more news and particulars later. I just wanted y'all to know that your thoughts and prayers came in loud and clear and they got me home a day earlier than the doctors were hoping.

As I said, I'll fill in more news later.

-much love
Eric & Lyn

Wednesday, 12/22 -- When life gives you lemons, it's time to go to the hospital.

Today I'm most likely going to be admitted into the hospital.

The results of the MRI comparisons are "negative" meaning they didn't see anything bad. But they also weren't looking for everything all at once. MRI results can be reconfigured in the computer to show different angles, different cross-sections and such. They are going to reconfigure it to examine my nervous system on the left side of my back.

The pain I've been having seems to be caused by nerve damage, not muscle damage.

They want me to see a neurologist to get to the bottom of this. Let him run his tests and do his exams. We'll see what he knows.

Ever try an schedule an appointment with a new specialist this close to the holidays? It's impossible. The solution... be admitted into the hospital. If I'm admitted into the hospital, no one can ignore me. Hopefully.

This is my oncologist's theory, anyway.

They hope to have me out of the hospital by Christmas! Whoopie!

One result from yesterday's office visit is they upped my steroid dosage. I'm feeling the results of that... I'm especially goofy this morning. Lots of energy. Too bad extended steroid intake of any kind can be damaging. I'd love to feel like this all the time. They'll give me even more when they have me in the hospital. I'll be on the ceiling.

Despite my current goofiness, I'm scared.
I'm scared of being in the hospital again. I'm scared of what this specialist is going to find, and what kinds of tests he'll want to do to make his determination.

I'm scared that I'll never be myself again. One step forward, two steps back.

The doctor's office just called, they are getting me a bed in the hospital. I'll be going over shortly. See you in a couple of days. Hopefully. Wish me luck.

Monday, 12/20 -- I'd bet having "saber teeth" was pretty cool at the time.

It's about a quarter to midnight, and I'm sitting here waiting for my Advil to take effect. I don't want to attempt lying down without the aid of some pain suppressants.

Today was another day of sitting on the couch, not doing much. It's counter to what I believe is good for me.

I've always followed the school of thought that the best thing for a sore back is movement. Some people claim that rest is the best thing. I look at it like this: If we were "wild humans" living on the dusty fields of ...wherever, and I hurt my back... I'd be next in line to feed the saber-toothed kitty. Know what I mean?

Luckily, I'm not being stalked by any saber-toothed brute. But I still think that it's in my best interest to keep moving. To keep on truckin', as it were. Sadly, I can't do that right now. The injury is too severe.

Our three cats sense my vulnerability and are licking their chops as I type this. Charcoal, the Russian Blue that I've pictured here before, she doesn't have any teeth. She's planning on gumming me like a redneck with a fresh tin of Redman chawin' tobaccy.

What has my life become?

Tuesday I'm going back to the doctor's office to learn more about my health and it's ever changing condition. I'll be sure to report any findings that are interesting.

Thanks for your continued support.
Seriously.

Nah, I mean really.

Saturday & Sunday, 12/18 & 19 -- No pain, no gain. I can do without gain, thank you.

As planned, I spent most of the weekend on the couch or in bed.

I know it may sound like fun, especially if you are reading this on Monday morning. Let me tell you clearly and frankly: spending the weekend laid-up is not at all fun. Especially when you're afraid to move. The wrong sudden movement can cause sharp, shooting pain

This pain causes the back muscles to tighten, hence causing yet more pain.

Laughing is the best medicine, except when it causes severe pain.
Coughing and sneezing... forget about it. Don't even think about it.

I do have goofballs to take for the pain. And despite my resistance to taking MORE drugs, I have been taking these when needed.

Thankfully, I'm on a chemo break this week. Less for me to have to deal with.

Needless to say we've been spending a lot of time weeping this week. The list of reasons really hasn't changed much over the last few months, but the frequency of bursting out in tears has shot up considerably since I hurt my back. Here's just a few of the reasons:

Me being in pain

Me being in severe pain

Lyn having to watch me in severe pain and being helpless to help me

Lyn having to do ALL the household stuff and take care of me

Me not being able to help Lyn around the house

Me feeling helpless... for almost 6 months

Me not being able to shower for a few days, being afraid of hurting myself

Us being afraid that this will lead to something more serious than just back pain

Us being extremely frustrated that this crap is extremely unfair

Us knowing that we don't deserve this since we have always been good, decent people

Us knowing that no one deserves this, even jerks

Us being frustrated that this has gone on too long. We're tired

Us wishing that the most troublesome thing we had to worry about was what color to paint the spare bedroom in our new house, the house that slipped out of our hands when I got sick

Us wishing for something to chase away my dark cloud

We are very tired.

And there's so much more that I could list. In fact, there's about 4 pages of things that I wrote, but I'm not going to list them all here.

This list wasn't a cry for sympathy. Think of it more as a glimpse into the emotional life of two people who are scared and tired of fighting something that doesn't fight fair.