Friday, 2/18 -- Cough, cough, hack.

It's been an interesting couple of days.

Yesterday we had a nurse come to the house for the first time. Part of Delaware County Memorial Hospital's Hospice program.

Now hold everything.

Stop! Don't jump to ANY conclusions here.

We have not transitioned into hospice care. My condition is not at that stage. We are still treating the cancer as "chronic" as before. Step by step, treat each symptom, keep after the bastard cells.

The introduction of the hospice nurse is to broaden the range of care they are giving to me. I've been so beaten up by the drugs and cancer lately that if I should get so weak that I need intensive, in-home care, I have it. The overall goal is to keep me out of the hospital. I'm all for that.

The hospice nurse will try to visit twice a week, if the insurance will cover it. I'm sure they will. My health insurance has been phenomenal. They have been great about covering everything. I don't know what I would have done without it.

Can you believe through all of this that I don't have a single horror story about medical insurance coverage?

Today I had an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. They wanted to make sure that my upper respiratory coughing is indeed an infection and not another tumor.

He stuck a camera up my nose and down my throat. It didn't hurt. It was just weird.
He saw nothing to be concerned about. No tumors or lacerations or other bad, funky throat things.

But just to be thorough, I have to go for a CAT Scan of my throat and have this funky swallowing test done on Monday. They want to make sure that I'm not going to choke when I eat. I have had some problems swallowing.

One thing that was refreshing, this was the first medical person I've met in months that hasn't asked me about my bowels. Maybe I should question his competence.

Thursday, 2/17 -- Tomorrow's Friday.

I'll have something to say tomorrow.

:)

eric

Wednesday, 2/16 -- No hospital stay, and new drugs.

I made my goal. I came home yesterday.
It was close.

I had to ride up to the office in a wheel chair because of some weird visual distortions I'm starting to have. I think its the steroids mixing with some of the couch medication. Just a theory. I felt awful enough that I thought they were going to want to keep me. Luckily, I didn't have to stay.

The worsening cough that I've been having turns out to be a thrush infection in my upper throat. I'm on some new goofballs to take care of it. So far I do feel slightly better. Slightly.

I'm going to be coughing up some interesting things over the next few days. I'm making those disgusting "old man clearing his throat" sounds a lot. I feel bad for Lyn, she has to listen to it. But she's supportive about it.

They cut back on the steroid. I'm happy about that. Maybe I'll start to feel like myself again??? Who knows. I've been so out of myself for so long that I don't remember what normal Eric feels like. My moments of true lucidity are rare and random.

We will start on a new chemotherapy treatment next week. Doxil. It's mostly used for Ovarian Cancer. But that's not too strange of a leap. Testicles and ovaries are brother and sister.

My health has been very poor for the past month. Weakness, fatigue, coughing, pain, hospital stays. It has taken its toll on Lyn and myself. We are both very tired.

Despite this exhaustion, we continue to fight. I don't know what this next round of chemo will do to me. Hopefully, it will be positive. We need to continue to beat the cancer cells down.

The love and support of family and friends is what is carrying us right now. Thank you for your strength.

By the way, have you checked out our recipe blog?

http://ericandlyn.blogspot.com

Tuesday, 2/15 -- Small goal for a big day out.

The goal for each Tuesday is to go to the oncologist and to come home.

Sure, the other goals of us talking about me being cured is always there, however, the larger goal is not to be hospitalized for any reason.

They may give me fluids.
They may give me a new chemo drug.
They may give me paperwork.
They may overwhelm us with good or bad news.

So long as I can come home and sleep in my own bed.
I don't want to have to hear the constant BEEP of other people's monitors.
The yelling of the elderly guy across the hall.
The mindless conversations of the strange people walking the halls at 3 am.

I hate watching that wall clock, waiting for my awful breakfast, lunch and dinner to arrive. It's bad food, but I look forward to it. I clean my tray completely. Overcooked wax beans and all.

I don't watch TV in the hospital. I don't turn it on. I read my book and I sit and think.
Luckily, I can get lost in my own brain for hours. I know everyone expected as much, but my head is a strange place that never gets boring.

I prefer to have my head at home on my own pillow.

That's the goal.

Monday, 2/14 -- More of the same. And we want to take a trip out to hug some trees.

Medically speaking, these past few weeks have been uncharted territory. There has been so much going on, and much of it has been hard to explain or make sense of.

I try to write in detail to tell you how I am physically, mentally and emotionally feeling. I think I do a pretty decent job of it. I also know that there is a lot of what I'm experiencing that I cannot put into words.

For example. I've talked about "Chemo Brain" in the past. Its a foggy condition in my head when I don't feel like myself. I don't think straight. My thoughts are clouded by a thickness that's hard to cut through. Half asleep, half awake.

I have that right now and I haven't had chemo in several weeks. What is causing it?
Mysteries of treatment.

And that's just one thing.
I still have the weakness and fatigue.
I still have dumbness in my hands and feet (the numb hands make for fun typing.)
My coughing has gotten worse, but cough syrup has helped that immensely.

Could the cough syrup be causing my fog? Possibly? I'm not going to stop taking it though.

Tomorrow is the weekly oncology appointment. We're going to go into great detail about my physical condition. I need to know how much of my condition is caused by my drugs, and how much is caused by the cancer itself.

If the cancer continues to advance, I want to know how that will happen. What physical changes will take place and how do we treat them.

And we may also decide to start a new form of chemo. The jury is out on that just yet.

Lyn and I want to plan a trip.
I want to go to Yosemite National Park in California. I've been there at least twice. Lyn's never been. I want to share with her the giant sequoia trees.
I want to touch them again and feel their power.

We need to talk to the oncologists and make sure that I can be well enough to travel.
I want to get strong enough to make this trip. So far, my body has been letting me down.

Sunday, 2/13 -- Just a day, and a new Blog.

A moderate day of not much new to report.

Coughing is getting nasty. Drugs help suppress it.
Breathing is getting more labored. Drugs seem to help.
Leg pain is almost gone. Turning a corner away from pain pills.
Breathing exercises seem to help my level of energy. However it stirs up the coughing fits which can hurt my ribs.

It's all about staying calm, letting these low-key days work to my advantage. Let my body try to heal itself. Use my metal energy to focus on killing bad cells. Let my eyes focus on Sponge Bob.

I've started a new BLOG for your reading pleasure. We've gotten a lot of requests for recipes for the kinds of food that we've been eating. Wholesome, healthy, unprocessed, organic... just good honest food.

Nothing weird about a well-made plate of pasta with fresh tomatoes, mushrooms and garlic tossed with freshly grated Asiago cheese. for example.

Healthy food is simple food made with love.
There is no love in a Pringle.
There is no love in a box of Lean Cuisine.
There is no love in anything from a fast food joint, ever.
It's just common sense, no?

Anyway, I hope these recipes will help and inspire you to eat a better diet.
For whatever it's worth.

http://ericandlyn.blogspot.com