Monday, 1/17 -- I need a new drug.

Laid up with back problems again. It's taken me until noon today to get up out of bed, my back has been killing me.

I can't figure out any rhyme or reason to this nonsense. I do believe it has something to do with the change in my steroid medication.

My appointment with the oncologist is tomorrow. Of course, we'll spend a good amount of time talking about my back.

We should also have the news and results from last week's CAT Scan.

When I'm dealing with pain like this, it's very easy to become discouraged and down. There's nothing like severe back pain to take the edge of any positive attitude.

I'm still in a fighting mood. I know this is a temporary thing. This is different than what I've been through before, but it's not unbeatable.

What's hardest is that it makes me helpless, and puts more and more responsibility on Lyn. My soul mate is Wonder Woman. Beautiful, talented, strong and honest. She holds her own, and she holds mine too. She carries the weight of this house, three cats, two fish tanks, over a dozen plants and much more. Someone please give her a standing ovation, buy her a beer and give her a Nobel Prize for Amazingness.

The cats are more responsible and self-sufficient than I am right now. I don't know how to use a litter box. It looks simple enough, but I don't have that kind of balance.

Because of the pain and limited mobility, I think there's an outside chance that they'll want to admit me into the hospital for a day or three. They can monitor my pain and give me better pain bug juice than what I get in pill form at home.

To bring this pain under control, I'd be willing to do that.
In fact, I think I would do whatever it takes to smooth out this back pain. I don't know this for certain, but I think that people who live with chronic illness/pain would pay any price to be rid of it.

Cliche Alert
Nothing is more valuable than your good health. Cherish it. Do everything you possibly can to keep it for as long as possible.
It's a worthwhile investment.