Wednesday, 1/19 -- The good with the bad and the same old same old.

Results of Tuesday's medical roller coaster fun ride.

I wasn't able to get out of bed on Tuesday morning. My back was highly agitated. . 8:00, eyes wide open, couldn't move. Deep breathing.

I took some goofballs and waited an hour. I was able to get up enough to get my coffee, take more goofballs and slide into the day.

I even took a shower!

Anyway, we got to the appointment on time.

I'm back on the higher dose of steroid. Disappointing, but necessary. It may take a few days for the levels to level out in my blood.

Results of the CAT Scan.
Liver, kidneys and other organs appear to be in good shape. That's good.
My lungs, the area of most concern, also appear to be doing good. There wasn't any mention of new activity in the lungs. The nodules that were there, I think, are gone or the same. Not too clear on that.

The bad stuff.
There are two lymph nodes in my chest that are enlarged 15 to 20% over the last scan. That could mean that the bones in the area are showing "progressive disease". Or maybe the nodes themselves are showing "progressive disease". In either scenario, there's something growing larger that shouldn't be.

From the very start, I've had very few tumors that could easily be seen in a scan or x-ray and identified, without a doubt, as being a cancer tumor.
The original tumor on the testis, that was clear.
The tumor that was chewing away my pelvis in July. No doubt.
Everything else is too small to be classified. We just have assume the worst.

That's good and bad. You don't want these things to get too big. But when they are so small that they are barely identifiable... then it gets frustrating in terms of treatment.
Is it cancer? Is it just an enlarged node? Is it a piece of gum I swallowed when I was 12? Who the hell knows. Only a biopsy would be certain, but that could get messy.

So, there's these enlarged lymph nodes in my chest that may or may not contain new cancer growth.
There may also be bones nearby these nodes that have new cancer growth. Maybe not.
Maybe all the pain in my back wasn't caused by the "bucket lifting incident".
The oncologists seem to think that it may be cancer.

So what do you do? So what do you do?
So what do you do?

What we decided to do is to assume that it's cancer. Keep attacking it. Keep hitting it. Be aggressive. It cannot and will not get the upper hand in MY body.

So yesterday I started two new chemotherapy drugs. Out with old and in with the new.
All new sets of side effects to be afraid of. You know the lists, may cause drowsiness; may cause your eyes to shoot blue lasers; may cause instantaneous cranial explosions.

So far, I'm just feeling dull, groggy and tired. My doctor seems to think that I'll tolerate this chemo stuff just as well or better than the last stuff. That's comforting. I don't want chemotherapy to slow down my jet-set lifestyle. Com'on, I've got some extreme sports to run after! :)



I'm also scared. I'm tired of feeling scared and lost.
So is Lyn.
We're pretty well sick of this shit.