Tuesday, 2/15 -- Small goal for a big day out.

The goal for each Tuesday is to go to the oncologist and to come home.

Sure, the other goals of us talking about me being cured is always there, however, the larger goal is not to be hospitalized for any reason.

They may give me fluids.
They may give me a new chemo drug.
They may give me paperwork.
They may overwhelm us with good or bad news.

So long as I can come home and sleep in my own bed.
I don't want to have to hear the constant BEEP of other people's monitors.
The yelling of the elderly guy across the hall.
The mindless conversations of the strange people walking the halls at 3 am.

I hate watching that wall clock, waiting for my awful breakfast, lunch and dinner to arrive. It's bad food, but I look forward to it. I clean my tray completely. Overcooked wax beans and all.

I don't watch TV in the hospital. I don't turn it on. I read my book and I sit and think.
Luckily, I can get lost in my own brain for hours. I know everyone expected as much, but my head is a strange place that never gets boring.

I prefer to have my head at home on my own pillow.

That's the goal.